


Tonight & Forever

by raimykeller



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raimykeller/pseuds/raimykeller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which broken, cynical Kurt meets optimistic, romantic Blaine at a coffee shop. Can Blaine win Kurt over? Can Kurt believe in love again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They met in a coffee shop, of course, thanks to both boys’ caffeine addictions and the fact that Kurt happened to work in that particular store. But oddly enough, I guess, that wasn’t Blaine’s usual coffee shop. No, Blaine’s Starbucks, the one where Jen, the barista, always had his grande medium drip waiting for him at two o’clock on the dot, was on 8th. Kurt worked at a small, quaint shop on Bleecker called Burt's.

But Blaine had quit his job—ok, fired—and without a steady income, he would not be able to afford his 3rd floor walk-up above The Chinese Express, or any other place in the city for that matter. And playing Wednesday nights at Lena’s only brought in enough income to feed his coffee addiction.

One of these days, though, Blaine was gonna get discovered. A scout was actually going to come to Lena’s—like she promised—on a Wednesday night, and Blaine would serenade the shit out of him or her, and he would get signed immediately. And pretty soon, his songs would debut at #1 on Billboard and he would win Grammys and he would be rolling in dough in his penthouse on the Upper East Side and … Well, he certainly could dream, right?

And that is how Blaine found himself on his way to a job interview and how he found himself forgetting his coffee order in front of the beautiful blue-eyed barista in West Village.

“Um…sir? Sir? … Quinn, I think something’s wrong with him.”

“I think he's smitten!"

“Well I need to take his order. What do I—”?

“Shit.”

“Oh! He speaks!”

“Um…”

“Sir—“

“Blaine!”

“…Blaine, can I take your order?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I mean… I don’t know.”

“O…kay? Well you’re holding up the line, Blaine, so…”

“Oh! Just… coffee. I need coffee.”

“Well you’ve come to the right place. What size?”

“Big. Big coffee.”

“Large medium drip?”

“How do you know my coffee order?”

“4.85 please.”

“4.85 what?”

“Money, Blaine.”

“Oh! Okay.”

“Thanks. … Blaine?”

“Yes?”

“Move.”

“Oh. Right. Yes. Sorry.”

Blaine was mentally kicking the shit out of himself. He had just made a complete fool of himself in front of the most gorgeous man he had ever laid eyes on. Awesome.

“Blaine?”

His heart stopped. “Yes?” he said breathlessly, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Uh, your coffee…”

“Oh yeah, thanks.”

“Have a great day, Blaine.”

“Thanks. You, too… uh…”

“Kurt.”

“Kurt.” What a beautiful name. Kurt.

Blaine smiled and walked out the door. No offense, Jen, but Blaine just found his new "Starbucks."

* * *

 

“That was so weird,” Kurt turned to Quinn as soon as Blaine left.

“Yeah.”

“That’s never happened to me before.”

“What, someone being so enraptured by your beauty that any coherent thought they had completely leaves their brain?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Oh, Kurt, the man is in love with you. He practically forgot how to breathe when he looked at you. My bet is he calls you. Tonight. At ten.”

“That’s ridiculous. No one falls in love at first sight. Besides, I didn’t even give him my number.”

“I did.”

“QUINN FABRAY! You cannot be serious right now.”

“I am, actually. I wrote it on his cup. And the time you get off tonight.”

“I can’t believe you did that! Ugh, I hate you so much right now!”

“Kurt, come one. You’ll thank me. Seriously. It’s been a year since Toby. And you need to get laid.”

Kurt sighed. Maybe Quinn was right. Not about the getting laid part. Okay a little about the getting laid part. But it had been a year since Toby. How long was enough time to get over a lost love? But it shouldn’t be this easy, right? The right guy wasn’t supposed to show up like that. He was supposed to search. To date around. To wait until one sticks. That’s how he met Toby. Every night, a different bar, a different guy. Until one stuck. Toby stuck. And they were good together. For a while, they were really good together. Kurt blinked furiously, trying to clear his eyes of the stinging tears that had appeared. Maybe a year wasn’t quite enough time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story title borrowed from the damnwells' song of the same name


	2. Chapter 2

_Just press call, Blaine. The big green button. Press it. He gave you his number, he wants you to call him._  
  
It was 10:04. Blaine’s finger hovered over the screen until…  
  
10:05. _Calling Kurt._  
  
His heart picked up speed with each ring. Kurt picked up on the 5th.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Kurt?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“It's Blaine. From this morning.”  
  
Kurt didn’t say anything, so Blaine continued, “The dork that couldn’t remember how to order coffee?”  
  
“Yeah. Blaine, look. Quinn, she was working this morning, too, and she thought it would be funny to put my number on your cup, but the thing is, I’m just not interested. So, I’m sorry she led you on.”  
  
“Oh.” He sounded heartbroken. _Dammit, Quinn, why are you making me break his heart,_ Kurt thought with dismay.  
  
“Bye, Blaine.” Kurt hung up before Blaine could say anything else.  
  
Blaine stared at his phone in disbelief. Did that really just happen? He was shot down. Denied. He was taken aback, sure, but Blaine Anderson was nothing if not freakishly optimistic. Maybe he could just get to know Kurt, to be his friend. Because Blaine always needed coffee. At the coffee at Burt's was so much better than Starbucks.

* * *

  
“Mr. Anderson, thank you for your interest in our company. Tell me, though, what exactly is your degree in?”  
  
“Well, I double majored in music performance and creative writing and minored in Italian at New York University.”  
  
“That’s an… interesting combination. Where did you work before coming here?”  
  
“I was a courier for Weston & Jenkins.”  
  
“And why were you let go?”  
  
“Ummmm… cuts due to the economic downturn.”  
  
“Uh huh.”  
  
Blaine hung his head. He had never been a good liar. “I was delivering a time sensitive package and I got distracted by my friend, a street performer, and I was so caught up in singing with her that I didn’t see my bike and the package get stolen.”  
  
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Anderson. We’ll be in touch.”  
  
Blaine sighed. No, they wouldn’t. This was his fifth interview this week. He was exhausted and discouraged. He was also desperate. His rent was due soon, and he really needed a job. As he made his way to Burt's, Blaine finally relented to the possibility of a job in—cringe—food service or retail. He didn’t want to resort to this. He had a $100,000 education, dammit!  
  
As he neared the coffee shop, his mood began to lighten considerably. That always happened when he was with Kurt, which, much to Kurt’s annoyance, had happened every day in the week since their initial meeting. He wasn’t being pushy, just ordering his small medium drip—he had to downgrade due to limited funds—with a gracious smile and a nod of his head. Nothing more. He would work up to a conversation someday. Besides, Blaine had a feeling in his gut, a good kind of feeling that he just couldn’t—and wouldn’t—ignore.  
  
He turned the corner and saw Quinn in the window. She smiled and waved and continued hanging a sign on the front door. Blaine’s jaw hit the sidewalk when he read the large red letters.  
  
HELP WANTED.  
  
Fate, Blaine decided. It was fate. And he wasn’t going to let something that was fate pass him by. He marched himself in the door and straight to the counter.  
  
“Kurt, I want the job. And a small medium drip. Please.”  
  
“Small medium drip, yes. Job, no.”  
  
“Kurt!” Quinn exclaimed, “We need help!”  
  
“Yes, but not his help. Anyone but him!”  
  
“Please guys,” Blaine put on his puppy dog eyes. “Look, I’m desperate here. My rent’s due and I was fired last week and I’ve been on five job interviews in the past three days and everyone has turned me down. I’m desperate, Kurt, please. I’ll do anything.”  
  
 _Damn, this guy was good_ , Kurt thought. _I actually feel kind of bad for him._  

He sighed, looking between Quinn’s pleading face and Blaine’s stupid but undeniably adorable puppy dog eyes.  
  
“Fine. You’re hired. Can you start now?”  
  
“Yes!" Blaine exclaimed, actually jumping up and down with glee.

"Follow me, I’ll get you an apron. Do you have any barista experience?”  
  
“Only ordering from one.”  
  
Kurt sighed audibly. _Crap. Now I have to teach him,_ Kurt thought with annoyance. _I just can’t get rid of this kid can I?_  
  
“Alright. Well come on then. You can start by wiping down the tables and taking out the trash.”

* * *

  
Kurt led Blaine through the small back kitchen to a tiny office where he had Blaine fill out some paperwork before he handed his new employee a blue apron.  
  
“So—” Blaine began, but Kurt cut him off.  
  
“What do you want from me, Blaine?” Kurt muttered, his blue eyes piercing Blaine’s hazel ones.   
  
“I—” Blaine cleared his throat. “I really do need this job. And I… I feel like you need a… a friend.”  
  
“Huh,” Kurt continued staring at Blaine, though his gaze softened ever so slightly. “Well, the custodial supplies are in that cupboard. The afternoon rush is starting soon so I have to get back out to help Quinn. You can start now…”  
  
“Right! Yes, sir!” Blaine saluted him with a goofy grin.  
  
“Funny,” Kurt deadpanned.   
  
The rest of the afternoon went by quickly, and Blaine was surprised at how enjoyable he found performing the menial tasks Kurt threw at him. He eagerly emptied garbage cans and swept rugs and wiped up spilt coffee at Kurt’s every call.   
  
“Well he certainly is eager to please,” Quinn murmured as Blaine practically skipped into the kitchen to wash dishes.   
  
Kurt just rolled his eyes. “I’m not complaining.”  
  
Blaine left shortly after closing, and only after Kurt promised there was nothing else he could do. Blaine thanked him profusely and skipped out the door, declaring he’d see them bright and early the following morning.   
  
“He’s perfect, Kurt. Admit it.”  
  
“Nuh-uh.”  
  
“Kuuuuuuurt!”  
  
“Goodnight, Quinn.”

* * *

  
The next week of Blaine’s employment at Burt’s continued in the same fashion as his first day. And Kurt was getting used to seeing the man’s dark curls bobbing around the shop, clearing tables, speaking happily with customers, offering refills.  
  


Everything was going great until Quinn asked for the next Wednesday off.  
  
“Why, Q? You know I need you here.”  
  
“Rach has an afternoon performance and I want to be there for her.”  
  
“But Quinn—”  
  
“Come on, Kurt. You have Blaine to help now.”  
  
“But he can’t make drinks or bake. He’s basically the janitor.”  
  
“Then teach him. You have four days. Please. This is important. To Rachel.”  
  
Kurt sighed and conceded, earning him a kiss on the cheek from Quinn.

* * *

  
The first night of training did not go so well. Blaine tried to be all charming and clever, but only annoyed Kurt so much that he grabbed the curly haired man and physically removed him from the shop. Only the next day, after a stern talking to from Quinn, did Kurt apologize to Blaine and agree to continue training him. Blaine came to the next session more subdued, but suddenly they were bonding over the old tune on the radio--a Katy Perry song he remembered singing in high school. Kurt relaxed after that, letting Blaine ask more personal questions and asking a few himself. By the third night, they were more comfortable around each other, Kurt easily guiding Blaine through the steps of latte-making and pastry-icing.

* * *

  
It was Blaine’s third night of lessons. He was pleasantly surprised at how much Kurt opened up when the two of them were alone. Blaine would ask about an interest of Kurt’s and then become enraptured by Kurt’s passionate discourse about Broadway musicals or mini cupcakes or Burt, who Blaine learned was Kurt’s late father.   
  
Coincidentally, Blaine realized the two had grown up only hours apart in Ohio, and could have met had Blaine never come to live in New York with his brother after his own parents’ deaths.   
  
Blaine loved getting to know this side of Kurt, and Kurt began to realize he actually didn’t mind Blaine’s company so much. He was a good listener, and somehow he knew exactly what to say to elicit a laugh from Kurt. He was getting under Kurt’s skin, in a good way, in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.   
  
Kurt lost himself in thought as he and Blaine fell into a comfortable silence. Blaine was attempting to master the milk-steaming machine, because, after three days he still couldn’t get the hang of the damn thing.   
  
Kurt was humming along to the radio and rolling the dough for pastries when his elbow collided with the flour jar, knocking it to the floor via his big toe. He yelped, startling Blaine who, once again, ruined the milk he was steaming. This time the milk ended up all over Blaine right arm and he hissed in pain when the hot liquid hit his skin. Kurt, rushing to Blaine’s aid, tripped over the fallen flour jar and rammed into Blaine, sending the two men tumbling to the floor.   
  
They remained still for a second, Kurt prone on top of Blaine, surprised expressions on their faces, before a deep laugh rumbled from Blaine’s chest. Kurt joined in, letting his head fall on Blaine’s chest as their bodies shook with laughter. Blaine brought his hand to Kurt’s back, rubbing soothing circles as their giggles died down.   
  
Kurt lifted his head to look at Blaine—his strong, lightly stubbled jaw, his shining gold eyes. And then Kurt’s eyes went to his lips. They were… perfect. Kurt just wanted to…  
  
He was leaning down before he knew what was happening. He stopped; he was so close, breaths mingling, hearts racing in the chests that were pressed close. Blaine’s hand moved to lightly stroke Kurt’s smooth cheek.  
  
And then Kurt was closing the gap, lips softly, chastely pressing against Blaine’s, his stomach swooping, fireworks exploding behind his eyes; it was like every cliche in the book, and it was too good to be true. He quickly pulled back to look at Blaine, whose eyes remained closed.   
  
“I—” Kurt began, but Blaine stopped him with a finger to his lips, his other hand cupping Kurt’s face, thumb stroking across the skin.   
  
“You don’t have to say anything.”  
  
So Kurt didn’t. Instead he leaned back down to capture Blaine’s lips in a stronger, deeper embrace. Kurt’s hands danced over Blaine’s shoulders and chest. He sighed a slow, contented sigh and released Blaine’s lips. To Blaine’s dismay, he rolled off of him and stood up, offering a hand to Blaine and helping him up as well. He took Blaine’s arm and inspected the small red marks the steamed milk left behind.   
  
“Come on,” he whispered, taking Blaine’s hand and guiding him to the door that led to Kurt’s apartment above the coffee shop.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine sat on the couch in Kurt’s apartment. Kurt moved to the kitchen to break off a piece of fresh aloe before sitting beside Blaine and applying the cool gel to the burns on his arm.   
  
“Blaine,” he began, slowly searching for the right words. “I… honestly I don’t know what I’m doing… its been so long… I just… I just don’t know. I don’t know what I want. That’s probably not what you want to hear right now. But it’s the truth. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Don’t apologize, Kurt. Really. I’m… I’m not expecting anything, right now. I don’t know what I’m doing either to be honest.”  
  
“But do you know what you want?”  
  
“I’ve always known,” Blaine replied quickly, eyes unwaveringly locked on Kurt’s. “And I know that I will wait for it. I’ll fight for it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”  
  
“Then… then make me believe you,” Kurt whispered. “Make me believe.”  
  
Blaine moved toward Kurt, who flinched, but Blaine didn’t stop until Kurt was in his arms, head on his shoulder. He circled his arms around Kurt’s waist and held him. Simply held him. After a few moments, Kurt relaxed into Blaine’s hold, his breath evening out, arms snaking their way around Blaine’s shoulders, fingers playing with the soft curls at the nape of Blaine’s neck.   
  
The world continued to whirl around them, the sounds of the city faded until the only thing either of them could hear was the steady synced beating of two hearts. Neither knew how long they remained wrapped in each other, but it didn’t matter because, at that moment, Kurt didn’t feel so hopeless. And Blaine didn’t feel so lonely. And it was perfect.  
  
But perfect moments pass.  
  
A nearby car alarm startled the men out of their reverie. Kurt shifted in Blaine’s arms, leaning back to look into his captivatingly golden eyes.  
  
“It’s late.”  
  
“Yeah. I should—”  
  
“You could stay? Only if you want, I mean. And on the couch. Or I could take the couch and you can have my bed…”  
  
“Kurt—”  
  
“Of course, you don’t have to stay! If you’re not comfortable. I just thought since you have to be back here in a few hours anyway—”  
  
“Kurt!”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I’ll sleep on the couch. Thanks for offering. It is an awful long walk back to my place.”  
  
“Oh. You’re welcome…”  
  
“So… are you gonna…”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“You’re, uh, sitting on my bed.”  
  
“Right! Um, let me get you a pillow. And a blanket. Or two. It can get chilly out here. And pajamas? Do you want pajamas?”  
  
Blaine laughed at Kurt’s awkward rambling. “Sure.”  
  
“I’ll be right back.”  
  
When Blaine was finally outfitted in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and covered in one too many blankets, Kurt still lingered.  
  
“Blaine, I…” he paused, unsure of what he was even trying to say. He sighed. “Goodnight, Blaine.”  
  
“’Night, Kurt.”  
  
Morning came quickly, and Blaine woke to Kurt puttering around in the kitchen.  
  
“Oh, you’re up. I was about to come get you,” Kurt said when Blaine entered the kitchen. “The bathroom’s down the hall. I’ve got to go open and get the pastries in the oven and the coffee started. As soon as you’re ready just come on down. You can start behind the counter today if you’d like.”  
  
And with that, he was out the door. Blaine quickly showered and joined Kurt in the shop.

* * *

  
“Go on a date with me.”  
  
“Blaine—”  
  
“Come on. You kissed me two nights ago. You can’t really believe there’s nothing going on here. So just go on a FREAKIN’ DATE WITH ME!” Blaine’s voice had risen to a yell.  
  
“OK! FINE!” Kurt shouted back.  
  
“GREAT!”  
  
“Get a room you two,” Quinn interjected with a giggle. 

"Fuck off, Fabray," Kurt teased back.  
  
“Sunday. I’ll pick you up at 5.”  
  
“Ok.”  
  
“Ok.”

* * *

  
Sunday.   
  
4:58.   
  
Kurt sat on his couch tapping is foot. He was beginning to regret this. He wasn’t ready to date again. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t.   
  
5:00  
  
The buzzer. Damn that boy and his punctuality.   
  
“Hey!” Blaine greeted him with an annoyingly adorable smile. Damn that smile.  
  
“Alright, where are we going?”  
  
“Uh, well dinner first. Then I have a surprise for you.”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“Dude, do you know the definition of ‘surprise’?”  
  
“Don’t call me ‘dude,’ dude.”  
  
“Shall we?”  
  
“I suppose.”  
  
“You sound so thrilled, really. Calm down.”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
Blaine laughed heartily, and Kurt decided he really like the sound of that laugh. So maybe he could do this.

* * *

  
“Do you like Thai?”  
  
“Yeah, actually.”  
  
“Awesome! ‘Cause here we are! Yum Yum Bangkok. Best Pad Thai in the city.”  
  
They sat in the dim restaurant making small talk as they ate. Kurt was grateful Blaine didn’t push to discuss the nature of their relationship, though he knew they would have to have that conversation eventually. Since their kiss, part of him had come to like the idea of being in a relationship with Blaine. But a bigger part kept reminding him that it was too fast, too soon, too much risk of getting hurt again.  
  
“Favorite Broadway musical,” Blaine asked over their fried banana dessert.   
  
“Hmm, ok, do you have an hour?” Kurt laughed. “Actually I’ve never seen a show on Broadway. We used to do the lottery, but never won. Though when I was in high school, my dad took me to see Cats when it came to Columbus. It was magical. But I know the soundtracks to quite a few, and I’ve seen a lot of pirated recordings on Youtube. So I’m going to say… Wicked. Yes, Wicked is my favorite.”  
  
Blaine smiled and glanced at his watch as they finished the dessert. “Right on time! Ready for your surprise?”  
  
“I suppose,” Kurt grinned at Blaine’s excitement; it was contagious. Blaine paid the bill, insisting that it was his treat because he had asked Kurt out, not the other way around.

* * *

  
“I’m gonna hold your hand,” Blaine stated as they stepped out into the cool night air. Without waiting for a response, he took Kurt’s hand, entwining their fingers and leading the way down the street. Kurt could only grin.  
  
They had only walked a few blocks when Blaine stopped.   
  
“Here we are.”  
  
Kurt looked up. Stretched across the marquee was a sign that read ‘One night only! Wicked – 25th Anniversary Revival.’   
  
“Blaine! You can’t be serious!”  
  
“Well I am! Here’s your ticket. Row C. Would you like seat 11 or 12?”  
  
Kurt was speechless. He just stood there gaping at the tickets Blaine was holding in front of his face.  
  
“Kurt?”  
  
“How did you.. why… I don’t…”  
  
“Complete sentences, sweetheart.”  
  
“I’m absolutely overwhelmed right now, Blaine, I can’t believe it!”  
  
“Believe it, babe. And do it quick. Show starts in 10.”  
  
Kurt could think of no other response but to kiss him, so that’s what he did. When he pulled away, he took one of the tickets from Blaine’s hand and entwined their fingers once more.  
  
“You are amazing,” he whispered, then tugged Blaine through the open theater door.

* * *

 “So, did you enjoy it?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?”  
  
“No,” Blaine grinned.  
  
“It was…” Kurt searched for adequate words. “It was magical. I’d never thought I’d get to experience something like that. I still can’t believe you… How did you? Really, Blaine. How did you manage to get tickets, THOSE tickets? I mean, those seats were incredible!”  
  
“Oh I know a guy. And I sold a piece of my liver. No big deal,” Blaine joked. “It was worth it. Seeing you happy. You’re so beautiful, Kurt, especially when you smile.”  
  
Kurt blushed. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this happy, this elated… Not since… not since his dad was alive.   
  
And he never had anything like this with Toby. Toby never made any grand gestures. Kurt did, or tried. He would save for weeks and plan a special date to a fancy restaurant, maybe catch a movie. And they would have fun. He loved doing things for Toby, but Toby was just as content with Chinese takeout and a quick fuck.   
  
Now, in hindsight, Kurt could see just how one-sided their relationship was. Kurt gave 100 percent all the time; Toby gave maybe 40 on a good day. And Kurt was blinded to that, because a beautiful boy wanted to share a bed with him. It was more than he ever had before. And so Kurt continued to believe that they were stable, that they would last.

Maybe, in the months before it was over, Kurt could sense their foundation crumbling. Maybe he thought he could save them, with grand gestures. So he bought the ring, planned the anniversary date, began the proposal… went to bed fiancé-less, boyfriend-less, Toby-less. Because not even a grand gesture, a declaration of forever, could keep together two people running in opposite directions.

* * *

  
“Hey, do you want coffee?” Kurt asked as the cab pulled up in front of Burt's. "I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."  
  
“Sure!” Blaine looked a little relieved; he harbored a faint hope Kurt would offer that. And he really didn’t want this night to end, either.  
  
While Kurt set a pot to brew, Blaine sat on a couch near the counter. Kurt soon joined him with two steaming mugs.   
  
“I really don’t know how to thank you for tonight. No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”  
  
“It was my pleasure, Kurt, really. I hope you’ll let me take you out again soon,” Blaine smiled hopefully.  
  
“Well, no. Because next time will be my treat. I’m taking you out, ok?”  
  
A huge grin spread across Blaine’s face. “Deal!”  
  
They were silent for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence. But the need for full disclosure weighed heavily on Kurt’s mind. Just get it all out there, he thought. The worst he can do is leave.   
  
“Blaine,” he began with a sigh, his face serious, eyes downcast. “I really like you. But… but I’m scared. I’m scared because of how fast this is happening and how amazing you are and how much I like you.  
  
“With my ex, Toby, we just kind of fell into a relationship because it was easy and it was there and we were willing. And don’t get me wrong—I loved him. Really, really loved him. Blaine, I bought a damn ring. And then he was gone. And I was devastated."

Blaine took Kurt's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.  
  
Kurt continued, “So I guess what I’m trying to say is if you’re not serious… if you’re just trying to get in my pants, then just stop. Don’t waste your time. I’m being completely honest when I say I want more than that. I don’t throw myself around anymore. I did, before Toby. And I hated myself for it. It's not me. So that’s where I stand, Blaine. Take it or leave it.”  
  
“I’ll take it!” Blaine exclaimed, enthusiastically, turning to face Kurt fully. “You matter to me, Kurt. And I am very, very serious about you. I’ve dated around, fallen in love, had my heart broken, had meaningless sex with guys I’ve never seen since, but I’ve also grown up. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’m not gonna promise you sunshine for the rest of your life because life sucks a lot of the time and there’s nothing we can do about it. Right now I can’t even promise that we will always be together, but I promise that’s what I want. And I promise I’m gonna fight for you. I won’t let you go easy, you can count on that.”  
  
Kurt could see the honesty, the sincerity in Blaine’s eyes. He believed him.  
  
“Kurt, I want to date you. I want to know everything about you. I want to kiss you whenever I want and to hold your hand when we walk down the street. I want to hold you close and fall asleep in your arms. That's where I stand. I’m in this. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
Kurt couldn’t stop the tear that rolled down his cheek, though it wasn’t sad. For the first time in a very long time, his tears were caused by an overwhelming happiness.  
  
“I trust you, Blaine,” he whispered leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek. “And I want you to hold my hand when we go out,” he kissed his other cheek. “And I want you to kiss me whenever you want,” Kurt breathed before capturing Blaine’s lips with his own, letting Blaine kiss him slowly, deeply, passionately. Their lips danced for long, blissful minutes.  
  
Blaine drew back, dizzy and breathless. “It’s late.”  
  
“Mmhmm,” Kurt pulled Blaine back in. Blaine moaned softly before breaking the kiss again.  
  
“I’ve gotta go get some sleep so I’m not late for work tomorrow.”  
  
“Mmm, yeah, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with your boss. You could get fired.”  
  
Blaine chuckled, placing a chaste but lingering kiss on Kurt’s lips. “Oh I don’t think he’ll fire me. I can be pretty persuasive!” He waggled his eyebrows.  
  
Kurt laughed and playfully swatted his arm. “Go! Before I kiss you again!”  
  
“I fail to see how that’d be a bad thing.”  
  
“See you in the morning, Blaine.”  
  
Blaine blew him a kiss as he walked out the door. As Kurt locked up behind him, he couldn’t wipe the silly grin off his face—he didn’t want to, either. He had never been more eager for the morning to come.


	4. Chapter 4

“I hate rainy days. They make me just… not want to smile.”

 

“Aw, babe! Don’t not smile! I love your smile,” Blaine whined, trying to pull Kurt into his arms. But Kurt wiggled away from his grasp.

 

“Hey, no PDA in the coffee shop!”

 

Blaine pouted dramatically, “But we’re alone! Except for Quinn, and she doesn’t count.”

 

As soon as he said this, however, the door dinged open. Blaine mumbled something Kurt swore sounded like “cockblock” as he approached the register to take the customer’s order.

 

“What can I get you today?” Blaine asked cheerily.

 

“Actually, I saw your ‘help wanted’ sign and was hoping I could get a job,” the man drawled. Blaine looked him up and down. He was tall and buff, with tan skin and a dark Mohawk that was incredibly unattractive. He definitely did not set off Blaine’s gaydar. Good.

 

“Oh Kuuuurt!” he called. “We got a guy who wants a job!”

 

“Coming!” Kurt called from the kitchen to which he had retreated. “Hey I’m Kurt, the owner. And you are?”

 

“Noah Puckerman. Though most people call me Puck.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Puck. This is Blaine and Quinn,” Kurt introduced, gesturing to his friends. “Why don’t we go chat in my office.”

 

Twenty minutes later, Kurt emerged with the newly hired and apron-ed Puck. Kurt worked out the hours so Quinn could have some time off. She had been with him since the beginning, and she deserved it.

 

Puck took over most of the custodial duties, and Blaine spent more time behind the counter. Kurt was able to spend some much needed time in his office dealing with the managerial aspects of owning his own business.

 

And he got to think. In the nine months since he opened Burt’s, Kurt has had absolutely no time to himself. Not that he needed it. All he had wanted to do was lose himself in something so he wouldn’t have time to dwell in the past.

 

Since Blaine, though, the past didn’t seem so haunting and the future, well, the future was so much more brighter, so much more hopeful.

 

Now, Kurt enjoyed down time when his mind could wander. He thought about Blaine a lot. He thought about, and he can hardly believe he allowed himself to think about this… but he thought about life with Blaine, a future with Blaine. A house in the suburbs. A little boy with dark curls. A little girl with pigtails and blue eyes. Birthday parties and Christmas trees. Science fair projects and PTA. And Blaine, strong, constant Blaine. Always there. Stealing kisses. Wrestling kids. Holding them all together.

 

It was lofty of him, precarious even, for him to dream like that, especially after only knowing him for such a short time. But honestly, he didn’t give a damn anymore.

* * *

 

“Blaine, can you refill the milk pitcher, please?”

 

“Sure thing, boss.”

 

The midmorning rush had slowed, so Blaine had time to slip into the kitchen. Quinn had the day off, and Puck was sweeping the floors. Blaine hoped Kurt would hire another person or two; they could always use extra hands. How Kurt and Quinn had managed for so long on their own, he had no idea.

 

Leaving the kitchen, he heard Kurt ringing up another customer. However, he wasn’t prepared to recognize said coffee-buyer.

 

“Holy shit!” he gasped, almost dropping the pitcher.

 

“Blaine!” the customer was equally surprised, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at the two as they stared at each other.

 

“We haven’t seen each other in two years, B. Are you just gonna stand there?” the man asked, opening his arms.

 

Blaine shook his head and laughed before launching himself in the taller man’s arms.

 

“I’m just shocked to see you! What are you doing here? I thought you’d be in London until the end of the year.”

 

“They reassigned me, well, I asked them to. I missed home. I missed you, B. Two years is a long time to be away from the people I love.”

 

“That’s amazing! God—I’m so glad. I really, really missed you. New York isn’t the same without you!”

 

Kurt cleared his throat, reminding Blaine where he was.

 

“OH! I have someone important I want you to meet. Cooper, this is my…” Blaine trailed off. They hadn’t talked about this yet. Were they boyfriends? Crap. He didn’t know if Kurt was okay with that title yet. “…Kurt.”

 

“YOUR Kurt, huh?” Cooper grinned knowingly, offering his hand to Kurt. “I’m Cooper Anderson. Blaine’s older and wiser brother.”

 

Kurt’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell me you had a brother!”

 

“Well, it hadn’t come up,” Blaine said sheepishly. “And he’s been in Africa for the past two years.”

 

“So how long have you two been dating?” Cooper asked, putting his arm around Blaine.

 

Both boys blushed. “Um, not long,” Blaine replied. “So you can’t freak him out yet, Coop. We’re just getting to know each other!”

 

“Ok, I’ll be nice,” Cooper winked at Kurt. “B, you have to tell me everything.”

 

“I will! I get off at 10 tonight, so…”

 

Kurt interrupted him, “Take the rest of the day.”

 

“What?”

 

“Puck and I can manage. Take the rest of the day and catch up with your brother.”

 

“Really? I mean, are you sure?”

 

“Yes, Blaine. Go! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Thank you SO much, Kurt,” Blaine gushed, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “Let me grab my jacket.”

 

“It's really great to meet you, Kurt,” Cooper said as Blaine ran to the kitchen. “I can tell you make my baby brother happy.”

 

Kurt smiled as Blaine skidded back towards them. “And for the record, Blaine?” Kurt took his hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. “You can say ‘boyfriend.’”

 

If it was even possible, Blaine’s smile got even bigger.

* * *

 

“Alright,” Cooper began as he collapsed on their couch. “Spill.”

 

“Uh, well, what do you want to know?”

 

“Oh, don’t act all shy, Blainers. I may have been in a different country for the past two years, but I’m still the same awesome big brother I’ve always been. Start from the beginning. How did you two meet?”

 

So Blaine told him everything, he spared no detail.

 

“And, Coop, I know it has only been a few weeks but I love him. I’m sure of it. I’ve never felt like this before. Cliché, I know, but it has never been truer.

 

“Do you believe in soul mates, Coop? I didn’t. Until Kurt. How insane is that? It’s like, until a month ago, everything I thought I knew about love was a lie. Kurt… Kurt is the truth, the only truth. He’s everything!”

 

“Wow, Blainers! He’s that good in bed, huh?” Cooper said, crude but jokingly.

 

“We haven’t slept together,” Blaine growled. “We are going slow. We both want more than sex from each other. I’ve only kissed him.”

 

“Is he a good kisser?”

 

“SO good,” Blaine sighed dreamily.

 

“I’m so happy for you, B. Really. You deserve love.”

 

“I think the craziest thing in all of this is he reciprocates. It’s not just me. Like, how did I get so lucky?”

 

Cooper beamed. Blaine had always been optimistic and positive, but this kind of happiness was brand new. This was elation. This was love.

 

“I’m so glad you’re home, Coop.”

 

“Me too, B. Me too.”

* * *

 

“So,” Kurt began nervously as he and Blaine were closing the shop for the night. “Do you and Cooper want to come over for dinner on Sunday? I know it’s Cooper’s first weekend back and you probably want to spend it with him so you can totally say no…”

 

“You’re cute when you ramble. And I’ll talk to Coop, but I’m sure he’d love to. I would love to.”

* * *

 

Kurt was having a lovely dream. He was standing in a field of wildflowers. The sun was shining brightly and Blaine was there, standing beside him, holding his hand. Blaine asked him to dance, even though there was no music. As they spun happily in the field, clouds began to appear, dotting the blue sky with wisps of gray.

 

“Don’t let go,” Blaine whispered to him. Rain began to fall, soft at first but then harsher, larger drops assaulted the pair.

 

“Come on, Blaine. Let’s get out of here.”

 

“No,” Blaine insisted. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Never stop.”

 

A shrill ring broke through the patter of rain, startling Kurt out of his dream. He bolted upright.

 

The ring sounded again; it was his phone. But who could be calling at one in the morning?

 

“Hello?”

 

“Kurt, its Cooper. How fast can you get to Mt. Sinai?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for major character injury and hospital angst (is that a thing?)

_Don’t let go._

Wrong place, wrong time, the police said.

It is my fault, Cooper cried.

_Don’t let go._

He’s still in surgery, the nurse assured.

I promise we’ll let you know when he’s out.

_Tick tock._

_Don’t let go._

 

* * *

 

“Hey Quinn, I know it’s three am and I’m sorry to wake you. I’m not opening tomorrow." 

“It’s Blaine. He…" 

“He's at Mt. Sinai. He’s in surgery."

“Yes, I’ll text you when I know anything."

“No, I’m not okay."

“Thanks, Quinn. I love you too.”

_Tick tock._

_Don’t let go._

 

* * *

 

“We were out of milk." 

“Cooper—”

“We were out of milk and I texted him to pick some up on the way home. Because I wanted cereal.”

“D-don’t do this. Don’t…”

“If I had just waited.”

“If I had made him leave the shop earlier…”

“If…”

_Tick Tock._

 

* * *

 

A nurse approached them. “He is still in surgery. The bullet grazed a major artery and he lost a lot of blood. He needs a transfusion. Mr. Anderson, do you know if you’re a blood type match for your brother?" 

“I am, yes.”

“Good, will you come with me please?”

“Yeah. Kurt—”

“Go. I’m fine.”

Cooper hurried after the nurse, leaving Kurt all alone. All alone and waiting.

__Tick tock.__

_Don’t let go._

 

* * *

 

 “He made it through surgery fine. Two centimeters to the left and the bullet would have been a fatal shot to the heart. He is very lucky. They're putting him in room 209 in the ICU. He should wake up sometime in the next three to five hours.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

 

* * *

 

“He hasn’t stopped talking about you, Kurt. Since I’ve gotten back. I don’t know anything that’s happened in his life in the past two years, but I know everything that’s happened in the past week with you.”

 

* * *

 

“I don't know why he never told me about you. Or his parents. I don’t know much about his past, except that he has been in New York since he was 16.”

“Ohio… Ohio isn’t his favorite thing to talk about. Our parents weren’t thrilled when Blaine came out at thirteen. And I wasn’t there to support him. I was in college and I was traveling and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there when he came out. Or when he had to switch schools because of bullying. And I wasn’t there when our parents died. I vowed I’d never not be there for him again. I promised him…”

“You’re here now.”

_Tick Tock._

* * *

 

“He is the one who convinced me to take the job in London. Even though he’d be alone again and I would be gone for three years. It was an amazing opportunity for me, and Blaine saw that. He is the most unselfish person I know.

 

* * *

  

“He is going to make it, you know that right, Kurt? Blaine’s a fighter. He’s going to be fine.”

_Tick tock._

 

* * *

 “I was dreaming about him when you called. He told me not to let go… never let go.” Kurt couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. All that he had been keeping inside came bursting forth and he sobbed into Cooper’s shoulder.

 

_Tick tock._

 

* * *

 

 “Shouldn’t he be awake by now?” 

_Tick tock._

 

* * *

 

“The police say they caught the guy who did it. He was just trying to rob the place. He said he never meant to pull the trigger. But when Blaine walked in, he got spooked. Then he just ran.”

 

* * *

 

“It has been ten hours, doctor. Why hasn’t he woken up yet? You said a three to five and it’s been ten!”

“Mr. Anderson, all bodies are different. They heal in their own time. Be patient.”

“He’ll wake up, Cooper.”

_Tick tock._

 

* * *

 

“How long was I out?” Kurt asked groggily, sitting up in the chair.

“About two hours.”

“Have you slept at all?”

“No.”

“You should.”

“I can’t.”

_Don't let go._

 

* * *

 

“When Blaine was a kid, about 7 or 8, he was in the backyard climbing this huge oak tree. I was about 17 at the time and I was supposed to be watching him. Mom and dad were on a business trip in California, I think. I had invited my girlfriend over and made Blaine leave us alone. He fell out of the tree. I heard him screaming. He broke his arm. A compound fracture, where the bone broke through his skin. I have never been more terrified. Amanda called the ambulance.

"He was in so much pain. I tried to be strong for him. On the ride to the hospital, I held his hand the whole time. But when they took him into surgery, I broke down. I was inconsolable. My parents took the red eye and got there the next day.

“That was the longest twenty-three hours of my life, the worst twenty-three hours of my life.

“I’m terrified now, Kurt. I’m scared out of my mind. What if…”

“Stop. Don’t do that. You said Blaine’s a fighter. You said…” Kurt was crying again, silent tears streamed down his face. He grabbed Cooper’s hand tight. “Don’t let go.”

_Tick tock._

 

* * *

 

Cooper went for a walk to clear his head and find something to eat. Kurt called Quinn again to update her and ask her to open again the next day.

Ending the call, Kurt collapsed heavily onto the chair next to Blaine’s bed. He reached out to lightly brush the curls from Blaine’s forehead.

“When my dad was in the hospital, I sang to him. I think he liked it because when he woke up he said he heard me. So I’m going to sing now. And don’t judge me. I haven’t sung in a long time, so my voice is probably rusty.”

Kurt cleared his throat and began to sing softly, leaning over so his head rested against Blaine’s chest.

 

> _I will not take my love away_
> 
> _When praises cease and seasons change_
> 
> _While the whole world turns the other way_
> 
> _I will not take my love away_
> 
> _I will not leave you all alone_
> 
> _When striving leads you far from home_
> 
> _And there's no yield for what you've sown_
> 
> _I will not leave you all alone_
> 
> _I will give you what you need_
> 
> _In plenty or in poverty_
> 
> _Forever, always, look to me_
> 
> _And I will give you what you need_
> 
> _I will not take my love away_

He finished brokenly, closing his eyes as fresh tears rolled quietly down his cheeks.

Suddenly, he felt a hand shakily run through his hair. He looked up quickly and found himself staring into the huge golden eyes he hadn’t seen since Thursday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for psychological trauma and PTSD, as well as a blink-and-you'll-miss-it mention of conversion therapy

"BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THAT BED. PRONTO!” Kurt yelled from his perch on the coffee table. 

“Heyyyy! Who told you my middle name?”

“That would be me," Cooper suddenly appeared in front of Blaine.

“Coooooooop," Blaine pouted. "Tell him I don’t need to be in bed! I’m perfectly fine to help you guys with… whatever you’re doing.”

“Sorry, bro, but I’m gonna have to back Kurt up on this one. And it’s not just because he’s glaring at me right now and I’m starting to fear for my life. But you just got out of the hospital and you could rip your stitches. Doc said you need to take it easy." 

Blaine pouted even more, but didn’t budge. “What ARE you guys doing, anyway?”

“Rearranging the living room furniture,” Kurt answered matter-of-factly.

Blaine cocked his head at Cooper. “Why?”

“Don’t look at me, B. This is Kurt’s thing. I’m just here for the heavy lifting.”

“You have a great open layout here, Blaine,” Kurt gestured to the room. “But you aren’t maximizing your space.”

Cooper laughed at Blaine’s confused look and just shrugged his shoulders. 

“Blaine, WHY are you still up? Didn’t I tell you to go lay back down?”

“Uuuuugh Kuuuuuurt,” Blaine whined.

“Uh-uh. Get!” Kurt pointed towards the bedroom.

Blaine scowled but retreated.

“He is SO whipped.”

“I HEARD THAT COOPER!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!”

“ASSHOLE!” 

* * *

Another week passed and, physically, Blaine healed quickly. The stitches came out and the residual pain vanished and the doctor gave him a clean bill of health.

But emotionally, Blaine wasn’t doing so well. He hid it easily, though, from Kurt and Cooper. The anxiety came mostly at night; he would wake up sweaty and out of breath from a nightmare. The same one every night. The same stranger. The same gun. The same terror.

Kurt was always there, too. Sometimes Kurt would be crying over his dead body. Sometimes Kurt would be yelling, “Watch out!” or “You promised!” or “Don’t leave me!” as the pull of the trigger jolted him awake.

But the worst nights, the worst dreams were when Kurt would step between him and the bullet. In that nightmare, the gunshot wouldn’t wake him. He’d stay in that hell, clutching Kurt’s lifeless body to his chest, feeling a pain so very tangible and raw. He’d wake up shaking, unable to control the tremors or the sobs that wracked his body.

It was after those nights that Blaine would ache to hold Kurt close, to never let him go, to do everything humanly possible to preserve that life so dear to him. He hated being so far from Kurt. But Kurt had responsibilities at Burt’s and he had insisted Blaine take plenty of time off to heal. Kurt had even hired another barista and refused to give Blaine any hours.

So, while Cooper was at work and Kurt was at work, Blaine was left to his own devices. The apartment suddenly felt the size of a matchbox and Blaine was suffocating. He had to get out.

* * *

 

Kurt’s life was slowly returning to normal. He was back at work, back to baking pastries, back to brewing dark roasts and mixing frappuchinos. Only he missed Blaine’s presence in the shop.

He had gotten so used to seeing Blaine’s curly head bobbing around, singing quietly, being absolutely adorable. The loneliness Kurt felt in Blaine’s absence was unnerving. How had he come to so completely rely on Blaine as his source of happiness to get him through the day? Though strange and new, Kurt couldn’t say he wanted it to change.

So he’d take a breath, remind himself that he still had Blaine. Blaine was alive. He was alive and he was well and he was perfect. And he was probably still pissed that Kurt wouldn’t let him work yet.

Kurt would put on a smile and face the day knowing he was going to see Blaine soon enough.

* * *

 

Blaine was bored. He was tired of being at home all day watching reruns of “How I Met Your Mother.” He needed to do something, wear himself out during the day so maybe he’d be able to sleep through the night without waking up from those damn nightmares.

After another night of fitful sleep, Blaine rose at 4:30, showered, and tiptoed out of the apartment, careful not to wake Cooper.

As he made his way to Burt’s, he realized he probably should have left a note for Cooper, but it was too late. Cooper would figure it out.

When he got to the shop, he paused in front of the window. There was Kurt, preparing for the day’s customers, flitting from the kitchen to the counter, probably humming to himself. He looked so beautiful. Happy. 

“Blaine?”

The voice pulled him from his thoughts. “Oh, hey Quinn!” He accepted the girl’s gentle embrace.

“It’s so good to see you, Blaine. How are you feeling?”

“A lot better, thanks.”

“Good. Shall we?” She gestured to the door.

“We shall.”

“Good morning, Kurtie!” Quinn called as she stepped inside.

“Helloooo, Quinn!” Kurt returned, standing from where he was kneeling behind the pastry display. “Blaine!” his smile quickly turned into a frown when the saw the man who was supposed to be at home in bed. 

“Well, it’s good to see you, too.”

Kurt ignored Blaine’s sarcasm. “What the hell are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in bed recovering!”

“I AM recovered, Kurt. And I’m bored out of my mind. Please don’t make me go back!”

“Does Cooper know you’re here?”

“Um… not exactly.”

“BLAINE!”

“He wouldn’t have let me leave! I snuck out.”

As if on cue, Kurt’s phone began ringing, Cooper’s name showing on the caller ID.

“Hey Coop—”

“PLEASE tell me Blaine is with you!” Cooper interrupted frantically. “I woke up to pee and went past his room and he wasn’t in the bed or anywhere I looked and I’m kind of freakin out right now like what if—”

“COOPER! Calm down. Yes, he’s here. He’s fine.”

“Oh thank God.”

“I’ve already yelled at him for leaving without telling you. And I think I’m going to let him stay—” Blaine fist pumped “—If he gets tired or in pain I’ll just send him upstairs.”

“Alright, Kurt. Thanks. I’m going back to sleep once my heart rate returns to normal.”

“Bye, Cooper.”

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Blaine pulled Kurt into his arms and kissed all over his face.

“Ok, Blaine,” Kurt giggled, “Don’t over-exert yourself. And you take a break every hour.”

“Yes, sir!” Blaine saluted before skipping to the kitchen to grab his apron.

* * *

 

Kurt put Blaine at the register for the day; Blaine was just happy to be out of the apartment, he didn’t care what he did.

Everything was running smoothly. They had made it through the breakfast and lunch crowds when a group of tourists from Kentucky came in, loud and boisterous on their first day in the city. They collected their coffees and claimed a few corner tables.

“Blaine, I’ll be in the office if you need me, ok?” Kurt kissed his cheek as he passed by.

“Sure, boss.”

“Oh hey, Kurt, can I talk to you real quick?” Quinn followed Kurt into the kitchen.

The door dinged open, a breeze swept through the shop and rustled a few of Blaine’s curls. A man in a dark hoodie and beanie walked through, just as one of the tourists stood too quickly and knocked the chair over. It hit the floor with a loud crack.

It was the perfect storm. And Blaine snapped.

* * *

 

Puck burst through Kurt’s office door with a shout.

Kurt ran.

He was on the floor behind the counter, curled up in the fetal position, hands clutching at his chest. There was a crowd peering over the counter, worried looks on their faces.

“Puck, get them back!” Kurt yelled as he reached Blaine.

“Blaine, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Kurt!”

“I’m right here.”

“Kurt, watch out. Get down. I’ll protect you, I promise!”

“Protect me from what, baby?”

“The man with the gun!”

“No one in here has a gun, Blaine.”

“He was just here. He shot me. Didn’t you heart he gunshot? Don’t you see the blood?”

Kurt pursed his lips. This wasn’t good.

“Quinn, grab my phone and call Cooper.”

* * *

 

It took Kurt half an hour to convince Blaine he wasn’t shot. When Cooper arrived, he managed to get Blaine up off the floor and up to Kurt’s apartment.

They got him in bed and he quickly fell into a restless sleep.

When he awoke and hour later and shuffled to the living room, he found Kurt and Cooper in a deep, quiet conversation.

He cleared his throat from the doorway.

“Blaine!” Kurt was by his side in a second. He led him to the couch. “We need to talk about what happened, but do you want something to eat first?”

Blaine shook his head.

“How are you feeling, B?”

He shrugged.

“Do you feel like talking to us?”

Blaine nodded. They were silent for a few long moments before he took a deep breath and spoke.

“I guess I just flashed back to the night I was shot. The door opened and I smelled the air and felt the breeze and saw the clothes that guy was wearing and I heard the shot and I just felt like I was back in that moment again. My chest hurt and I was just… just scared.”

“Was that the first time you’ve had flashbacks?”

Blaine dropped his brother’s gaze and fiddled with a loose string on the couch.

“No,” he whispered eventually. “There’s… there’s been nightmares.”

“How long?”

“Two weeks.”

“Why didn’t you tell me or Kurt?”

“I thought they would eventually go away. I just wanted to forget about them.”

Kurt and Cooper looked at each other. Before Blaine had joined them, they had been discussing the possibility that Blaine might need to see a psychiatrist.

“Blaine,” Cooper began, leaning forward to rest his hand on his baby brother’s shoulder. “Do you think… ah… would you be willing to talk to someone, a doctor, about this?”

Blaine turned and looked into Kurt’s eyes. They were full of concern and worry, pleading with him. Kurt reached for Blaine’s hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a sweet kiss to his knuckles.

“I…” Blaine swallowed thickly. “Um… yes. I guess. Yeah. I’ll… I’ll talk to someone.”

Cooper released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thank you, B,” he breathed, hugging him close.

Kurt look relieved as well and smiled gratefully at Blaine.

“I should probably get you home before dark, B…”

“Yeah. Coop, do you mind if I talk to Kurt alone for a sec?”

“Sure. I’ll be downstairs.”

“I really think talking to somebody will help you, Blaine," Kurt started, brushing a curl from Blaine's forehead. "I’m glad you agreed. Cooper was worried you wouldn’t.”

“I’ve… I’ve never been… fond of shrinks. My… my parents made me… after I came out. She was mean and homophobic and tried to scare the gay out of me. Cooper intervened, called my parents. I don’t know what he said to them but I never went back to that nasty woman.”

Kurt pulled him in for a long embrace. He held Blaine, just like the night Blaine held him. The night they kissed for the first time.

“I’m here for you, Blaine. I’m always here, ok?”

Blaine nodded into his shoulder.

“Kurt?” Blaine pulled away so they were face to face.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me?”

Kurt grinned and leaned in to oblige. He reveled in how perfect their lips felt meshed together, moving slow and warm.

Blaine pulled back with a contented sigh. “I should go.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

Blaine smiled and nodded. “Tomorrow.”


	7. Chapter 7

“You should cancel any and all plans you might have for Saturday night, Kurt," Blaine exclaimed in lieu of greeting his boyfriend when opened the door to Burt's.

“And why should I do that?” Kurt smacked a kiss on Blaine's cheek.

“Because it is our three month-versary and I am taking you out.”

“Oh, darn. As a matter of fact, I already had plans to take my gorgeous boyfriend out on a fantastic date that I’ve been planning for the better part of a week.”

“Kuuuuuuurt!” Blaine whined.

“Blaaaaaine!”

Blaine crossed his arms. “I though it was my turn."

“Oh stop pouting. Since when did we start taking turns?”

“I don’t know! I just thought... Hey! Stop! Don’t... you know I can’t resist you when you look at me like that... UGH... Fine! Your date’s probably better anyway.”

“Unless you got me tickets to Broadway again, it probably is.”

“No, I didn’t... I’m never going to be able to top that, am I?”

“You could, you never know," Kurt grinned.

“Alright, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise!”

“KUUUUUURT!”

Kurt cackled all the way up the stairs to his apartment.

* * *

 

Sunday arrived, and Kurt asked Blaine to be ready at six, dressed casually.

“My, my, you sure look handsome tonight. Got a hot date?” Cooper smirked when Blaine walked out of his room.

“As a matter of fact, I do. It’s my and Kurt’s three-month. He’s got a surprise date planned.”

“Oooooo... I hope it’s kinky.” 

“Shut up, Coop.”

There was a knock at the door. “You two love birds have fun!”

* * *

 

“So what are we doing tonight?” Blaine asked as they climbed into the waiting taxi.

“Well... first, I’m going to kiss you....” Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine’s. “... And then we’re going to go to dinner. I know this great place by Central Park. And then I’ve got a few other things planned after that.”

“Mmmm, I think we should revisit that first thing again. At least until we get to the restaurant.”

“Oh, hmmm, well, I guess we could do that." 

They kissed, slow and lazy, kisses full of love and contentment, until the cabbie cleared his throat.

“Meter’s still runnin, guys.” Blushing, Kurt handed him the fare. 

“Um... Kurt, this is Soleil. It’s impossible to get a reservation here. I know, I tried.”

“I have my ways. Come on!”

Hand in hand, they bypassed the line at the doorway and were led to a table in the back. It was quiet and intimate, and they dined undisturbed and happy, sharing kisses and bites of food over the candlelit table like the silly romantics they were.

* * *

 

“Now what?” Blaine asked after they had eaten their fill and left the restaurant.

“How about we walk?” Kurt nodded to Central Park.

Fingers laced, they strolled along the sidewalk.

“Blaine,” Kurt began after awhile, “On our first date, you made one of my dreams come true. And lately, with everything that’s happened, I’ve just been thinking about how I haven’t paid very much attention to your dreams.”

“No--” 

“Please, let me finish. I need to. I guess I’ve been afraid that your dreams would take you away from me. I know you don’t want to make coffee for the rest of your life. You’re better than that.

“When you were in the hospital, Cooper told me about how you’ve always loved to sing and perform. He said you majored in music in college and you used to perform at a bar every week.

And I remembered, in the back of my mind, that you mentioned that to me, but I never asked about it. I never took time to go listen to you play.

“So I guess what I’m saying is... I’m sorry. And I won’t let you neglect your dreams anymore.”

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand tighter. “You don’t need to apologize, babe! I appreciate it, I really do, but it’s not your fault I stopped singing at Lena’s. Honestly, I’ve just been focusing on a new dream and its you, Kurt. You’re my happiness. You are what’s most important to me now.”

“It’s so, so wonderful to hear you say that,” Kurt breathed. And it was. To be a priority rather than an afterthought? It was more than Kurt could have asked for.

“So I guess that brings us to your surprise, then,” Kurt stopped walking and turned to face his boyfriend. “Blaine, I want to hear you sing. I booked you a spot at The Attic. You go on at ten. Tonight.”

“OH MY GOD. Kurt, are you serious?”

“Yeah, is that ok? I know it’s really short notice, but...” 

“OF COURSE! Of course it’s OK! It’s fucking amazing, Kurt! It’s The Attic! They ALWAYS have scouts there!”

“Yes, they do. In fact, there’s one who is coming tonight just to hear YOU sing.”

“WHAT?”

“You know my friend Rachel? Well, since she’s broken into show biz, she knows a lot of people and she asked one of her friends, an agent, to come tonight.”

“Oh. My. God. I can’t believe it!”

“Yeah, well, you better be as good as Cooper says you are because Rachel’s reputation rests on it!”

“I won’t let her down! I promise. Oh my god, THIS IS THE BEST DATE EVER!”

Kurt laughed happily as Blaine pulled him into a crushing hug, lifting and spinning him around before kissing him fully on the mouth.

“So, do you know what you’re going to sing?” 

“I’ve got an emergency set list standing by. I just need my guitar!”

“Oh, Coop’s bringing it to The Attic.”

“You told him?”

“Yeah. I know how important he is to you. I really couldn’t have done any of this without his help. He’s a really great guy. You’re lucky to have him.”

“I’m lucky to have both of you.”

* * *

 

Quinn was there with Rachel and the agent. Puck came, too, and the four of them were sitting with Cooper at a table in front of the stage when Kurt and Blaine arrived. It was thrilling, Kurt thought, to be here with people who loved him—his family. It was a beautiful revelation.

When it was finally Blaine’s time to shine, Kurt hollered as loud as he could. And Blaine took his breath away, up there on that stage, before a single note was even sung. Kurt gasped audibly at the way the lights illuminated his Blaine's skin, and at the way Blaine looked so completely at home on that stage, like it had been made for him and him alone.

Blaine started tapping out a beat on the body of his guitar, playing with the controls at his feet. Switching to a different rhythm, he did the same, and with two taps of his foot, both beats played simultaneously in the background.

His fingers moved to dance on the guitar’s neck while the other hand picked and strummed and then, then he opened his mouth.

God, he was GOOD. It was unequivocal, what Kurt was hearing and he mentally kicked himself for taking so long to discover it.

Blaine jumped and swayed and moved and worked the crowd like it was his fucking job, and then and there Kurt knew that it should be.

“Hey guys, I’m Blaine Anderson,” Blaine spoke to the crowd after finishing his first song. He fiddled with the controls at his feet again. “Thanks for sitting here and listening to me tonight. This next song’s for a special guy in my life.”

By the end of the song, Kurt was grinning like an idiot, but he didn’t care. His boyfriend just sang him a love song! It was cheesy and dopey and perfect in every way.

Blaine played two more songs, slowing it down first with some Broadway, and then ending with a bang, with the crowd on their feet and singing along with him. (“Hey, I like to mix it up a little,” he had said, justifying the fact that he was about to cover an old pop dance anthem circa 2012.)

He really knew what he was doing, Kurt decided, because every song he chose to sing highlighted his incredible vocal range and talent. And he left Kurt speechless and so insanely proud. That was HIS boyfriend.

Blaine met everyone at the table a few minutes later, looking exhausted, sweaty and over the moon. He thanked them all for coming, and then Rachel introduced him to Daniel Rochester, her agent friend. 

Daniel gestured to the bar and offered to buy Blaine a drink. Pressing a quick kiss to Kurt’s cheek, Blaine followed him. Quinn, Rachel, and Puck said their goodbyes, leaving Kurt and Cooper at the table, necks craning to see Blaine and Daniel deep in conversation.

“Blaine seems so much better,” Kurt remarked. “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

“I really think those sessions with Dr. Rosado are helping. Has he said anything to you about them?”

“No, and I don’t push him to. He’ll tell me in his own time if he needs to.”

“You’re a good man, Kurt.”

“So what do you think they’re talking about?” Kurt nodded towards the bar.

“Oh, all the record deals and Grammy awards Blaine’s going to get and all the mad money it’s going to make Daniel.”

“You think Daniel wants to represent him?”

“He’d be a fool not to.”

As it turned out, Daniel did want to help Blaine, and he was to come by Daniel’s office the next day and they’d figure out the details there.

* * *

 

“Thank you so much for tonight, Kurt. All of it. I’m just... blown away," Blaine gushed as the stood outside the bar waiting for a cab. 

“I’d do anything for you, Blaine. I love you.”

A few tears sprang to Blaine’s eyes, and his voice cracked with emotion when he spoke. “I love you, too.”

“You guys are adorable.”

“Don’t ruin our romantic moment, Cooper!”

Kurt giggled. “Hey, Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you, um... want to come home with me tonight?”

Blaine’s breath hitched, mouth slightly ajar, eyes searching Kurt’s.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t--”

“Yes,” Blaine interrupted. “Yes.”

Cooper flagged down a cab; Kurt and Blaine climbed in the backseat.

“Have a great time boys! Practice safe sex!” Cooper yelled embarrassingly loud before closing the door on two very shocked, very red faces.

“I really hate him sometimes," Blaine grumbled.

But Kurt just kissed away his pout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's Emergency Set List
> 
> [All the Right Moves (OneRepublic)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_QGWxV55cc)
> 
>  
> 
> [You and Me (Dave Matthew's Band)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gfo4lelaMU) [Kurt's song]
> 
>  
> 
> [One Song Glory (RENT)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=234NTB5rxV0)
> 
>  
> 
> [Domino (Jessie J)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHPU8kvlhLc)


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine woke the next morning in a tangle of limbs and sheets. And next to him was his breathtaking boyfriend, bathed in golden sunlight, sleeping peacefully with his head on Blaine's shoulder. Letting out a contented sigh, Blaine realized he felt completely rested. No nightmares had disturbed his slumber, only dreamless hours were spent wrapped in the man he loved.

Kurt stirred slightly and Blaine placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Mmmm Blaine,” Kurt breathed happily.

“Good morning.”

“Yes, it is,” Kurt leaned up for a slow kiss, pulling back with a wrinkled nose. “Morning breath!”

“Are you saying I stink?”

“That is exactly what I'm saying,” Kurt giggled

“Let’s clean up and I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Shower with me?”

Blaine grinned and nodded. “Come on!”

After a shower that took a lot longer than it should have, they sat down to plates of scrambled eggs and toast courtesy of Blaine’s awesome kitchen skills.

“I can’t remember the last time I had a lazy morning like this.”

“You should hire people so you can have more of them. You work too hard.”

Kurt sighed noncommittally. But he did like that idea.

“When are you meeting with Daniel?”

“At one. I’ll have to go home and change first, though. Then I have an appointment with Rosado at four.”

“Oh? And how’s that going?”

“Really well,” Blaine began after gulping down the rest of his orange juice. “He doesn’t care that I’m gay, which is a welcome change from the last shrink..." Blaine grimaced at the memory of his last so-called "therapist."

“You know, Kurt,” Blaine said seriously after a moment, “I have spent more time talking about my past and my childhood than anything else. Whenever I leave, I always feel so much lighter.”

“That’s good, babe. Really.”

“You know what helps me the most, though?”

“What?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Just knowing you’re here. That you’re mine and I’m yours... it’s the best feeling in the world.”

Kurt beamed. He loved that. You’re mine and I’m yours.

“I still have nightmares though. They’re never as bad as they were, but they’re still there, waking me up in the middle of the night. Except for last night. Last night, I didn’t even dream. I didn’t wake up. I slept better than I have in a long time.”

“Was it ‘cuz you were so tired?” Kurt asked with a smirk.

“Maybe,” Blaine grinned. “Or maybe it was just having you next to me.”

Kurt stared at Blaine thoughtfully for a moment. “Then... then I don’t think you should sleep by yourself anymore. Ever.”

“Kurt?”

“Move in with me.” Where was this coming from? Kurt was just rolling with it. It felt right. God it felt so RIGHT.

Blaine was speechless. Overwhelmed.

“I know it’s fast. But, Blaine, I’m in love with you. I’m not letting you go. This morning when I woke up and you were beside me, it felt like how it’s always supposed to be. How it always should be. It felt right and necessary and absolutely perfect.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“I’ll move in with you. Yes. Fuck yes. Kurt, you’re right. About everything. I love you and it’s right. And I love you. God I love you!”

Blaine pulled Kurt into a passionate embrace, holding him as close as he could. All he wanted to do was kiss him senseless and for a really long time.

“I have to go,” Blaine said sadly when he pulled away.

“I know. Go make those dreams come true.”

* * *

 

Blaine took the elevator to the eighteenth floor and gave his name to the receptionist. A pretty young woman came out a few minutes later and introduced herself as Olivia, Daniel’s assistant. Olivia led him down a long hallway to a conference room. 

“Alright Mr. Anderson, here is the contract. Take a few minutes and look it over. Mr. Rochester will be in once he is done with a conference call. It shouldn’t be too long. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Some water would be great. Thanks!”

Blaine sat in the cushioned arm chair and had read the entire document by the time Daniel entered the room.

“So, what do you think?” Daniel gestured to the papers.

“I'd like to have my brother look over these first, but I don't think there's going to be any issues.”

"That's what I like to hear! Now, let's talk albums..."

* * *

 

Blaine was seated in a comfortable high backed leather arm chair in a cozy office. The door opened and a tiny Hispanic man entered, offering his hand to Blaine.

“Mr. Anderson, how are you? And don’t say good!”

“I’m better, Dr. Rosado,” Blaine chuckled softly. “A lot better.”

“Yeah? And the nightmares?”

“Last night was the first night I didn’t have any.”

“Good, good. You’re smiling... what happened?”

“I spent the night with Kurt last night,” Blaine’s grin widened.

“Oh, wow! Big step.”

“Yeah. Yesterday was our three-month anniversary.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. And today I signed with an agent.”

“An agent?”

“Someone to get me gigs and hopefully a recording contract.”

“Ah, how exciting!”

“It’s all thanks to Kurt.”

“Oh yeah?”

“He pulled some strings and last night I’m singing at The Attic and today I’m getting an agent. I wouldn’t have this opportunity if it wasn’t for him.”

“It sounds like he really cares about you.”

“And I really care about him.”

* * *

 

Two months later, they had relaxed into their new life with each other. Blaine was settled into Kurt’s apartment and had regular gigs at different venues across the city, but he still worked at Burt’s every week. 

Kurt had taken Blaine’s advice and hired plenty of hands to help out so he and Quinn could have their mornings back. But Kurt soon realized he didn’t want to give up mornings at Burt’s, so he usually ended up opening anyways. Blaine wasn’t fond of waking up without Kurt next to him, but he couldn’t dissuade Kurt from doing what he loved.

They weren’t perfect--what relationship is?--but they worked at it. They quickly learned little quirks about each other, some that drove the other up the wall and some that they found endearing, but they accepted each one, each quirk, each flaw, as something inherently Kurt or inherently Blaine. And they moved on; they didn’t dwell. They each gave a little instead of trying to take, take, take.

Because that’s what relationships are. Sometimes they’re more give than take. Sometimes you have to look past the little things because, above all else, you love your partner. An no amount of underwear left on the floor or closet space or unfolded laundry can change the fact that you love your partner more than life itself.

“Hey babe?” Kurt stood in the doorway to their bedroom watching Blaine dress for a gig he had that evening. He had just tucked his white button down shirt into a pair of dark skinny jeans that Kurt absolutely adored because of what they did for his ass.

“Black tie or red tie?” Blaine held up his options.

“Where are you playing?”

“Joe’s.”

Kurt thought a moment. “Neither. Your black vest. Unbutton those buttons. Roll up your sleeves. Yeah. And... this scarf,” Kurt finished with a flourish, stepping back to admire his work.

Blaine checked his appearance in the mirror and laughed. He looked hot. “Damn, Kurt. You’re good.”

“Of course I am,” Kurt kissed his cheek. “We’ve been together five months and you’re just realizing this?”

“I realize it every day, babe," he said as he moved to the bathroom. "So, did you want to ask me something?”

Kurt followed him. “Oh, yeah. How would you feel about a short vacation at the end of the month? Just like a weekend trip.”

“I’m game. Where to?”

“Ohio.”

“Oh...” Blaine froze, looking at Kurt through the bathroom mirror where he was gelling down his curls. “Ohio?”

“Um, yeah. I know you haven’t been back since... well, it’s just that I go every year at this time and so... I’m going whether you do or not, though.”

Blaine continued fixing his hair with a furrowed brow. “Can I think about it?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“Sure! Take a day or two, and just let me know so I can buy plane tickets.”

“Will do.”

“Ok, Blaine. Seriously? ENOUGH WITH THE GEL!”

* * *

 

“Coop, Kurt asked me to go to Ohio with him.”

“And you said?”

“That I’d think about it.”

“Have you?”

“Yes. And I think I want to go.”

“Alright then. Good for you. Why is he going?”

“I don’t know. He said he goes every year. So I kind of think it has to do with his dad.”

“When are you going?”

“At the end of the month, and just for the weekend.”

“Ok! So... do you know what you want to order? I’m starved.”

* * *

 

Kurt was sitting on the couch watching The Bachelor when Blaine returned to the apartment later that evening after his shift at Burt’s had ended.

Blaine plopped down beside Kurt and greeted his boyfriend with a kiss.

“So,” he began, resting his head on Kurt’s shoulder. “I want to go to Ohio with you.”

“Really?” Kurt muted the television. “Are you sure?”

Blaine took Kurt’s hand and kissed his knuckles, caressing the smooth skin with his thumb. “I’m positive.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter features alive finn, as well as carole and an original character; plus mentions of kurt being bullied in high school

The plane ride was short, and before he knew it, Kurt was searching the crowd at baggage claim for the familiar face of his brother.

“KURT!” There he was. Finn rushed forward and quickly engulfed him in a huge hug that lifted Kurt off the ground.

“Can’t. Breathe,” Kurt wheezed.

“Sorry, bro! I’ve just missed you!”

“Missed you, too, Finn,” Kurt said when his feet were back on solid ground. “This is Blaine, by the way. My boyfriend.”

Finn offered his hand and Blaine shook it. “Nice to finally meet you, Blaine. Kurt’s told me a lot about you.”

Kurt and Finn talked non-stop during the two-hour-long drive from Columbus to Lima. Blaine learned a lot about Kurt from listening to the brothers catch up.

They reminisced about meeting in high school and setting their parents up on a date. Seeing Kurt talk so open and animated about his past and his father, it really warmed Blaine to the core. 

Finally, Kurt brought Finn up to speed on his plans to transfer ownership of the house and Burt's garage to Finn's name.  

“I feel like I can finally let go,” Kurt said with an adoring smile towards Blaine. “I held on for so long. But it’s time.”

* * *

 

“...And he thought that Burt liked me better than him, so he started watching football and dressing in plaid flannel shirts and trucker hats. Oh, and he dated this ditzy blonde cheerleader, Brittany-”

“NO!” Blaine gasped, looking at Kurt with wide, teasing eyes.

“Yeah! Burt walked in on them making out once.”

“Kurt, your face is so red!”

“Shut up, Blaine!”

The three dissolved into laughter.

“I have so many stories to tell you, Blaine," Finn said with an evil smirk. "There is SO much you need to know about our Kurtie.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me that! And PLEASE don’t embarrass me too much.”

“It’s not ME you should be worried about...”

Kurt sighed. “And how is mom?”

Finn’s face fell slightly, lips drawn into a tight line as he stared pointedly at the road.

“She... she’s sad. It’s like she’s in a funk and she can’t get out of it,” she sighed heavily. “She misses dad.”

A thick silence settled over the car and remained until the old Ford pulled into the familiar driveway ten minutes later. Finn killed the engine and gave Kurt’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze before climbing out of the truck.

Just like dad would do, Kurt thought fondly.

* * *

 

It was easy, Blaine found, to quickly become comfortable around the “Hudmels”-- as Finn called the blended family.

Carole was wonderful. He could tell she was worn down, though. Lines had crept across her forehead and her eyes looked tired and distant.

But she was poised, strong.

She held her head high as she welcomed Blaine into her home with a warm embrace.

“You have a beautiful family,” Blaine said later that night as they readied for bed.

“They are. I’m so lucky.” Kurt slid into bed, pulling the covers back for Blaine.

“So what are your plans for tomorrow?” Blaine asked as he tossed his shirt and pants next to the suitcase and joined Kurt under the faded quilt.

Kurt snuggled into Blaine’s arms. “Oh I’m meeting with the lawyer at noon. And I want to check on things at the garage.”

Kurt intertwined their fingers, their hands resting on Blaine’s chest.

“I’ll go visit my dad on Sunday.”

Blaine placed a kiss to Kurt’s hair.

“You can come with me. If you want.”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

* * *

 

The next evening, Blaine settled on the couch with Finn, drinking a Bud and yelling at the Buckeyes game on ESPN.

Kurt was in his basement bedroom going through the closet where all of his old stuff had accumulated. Sarah was helping him sort the items into ‘keep,’ ‘trash,’ and ‘Goodwill’ piles.

“Kurt, is this a cheerleading uniform?”

“Oh, God. Get rid of that!”

“Are you sure Blaine doesn’t want to see it?” Sarah winked.

“Don’t you dare! He would NEVER let me live it down.”

The ‘trash’ and ‘Goodwill’ piles continued to grow the further into the closet they got. There were so many memories hidden in boxes and bags, not all happy, either. He found several designer shirts covered in bright red stains.

“Slushies,” he explained to Sarah. “The bullies at McKinley used to get a kick out of tossing them in my face. And these shirts are Alexander McQueen. I just couldn’t part with them.” He threw the shirts forcefully into the ‘trash’ pile.

From the back corner of the closet, Sarah pulled a small cardboard box. Inside were seven notebooks.

“Journals,” Kurt said, flipping open the one on top.

“September 20, 2010,” it read. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“These are my journals from high school. I wrote everything in here. Every instance of bullying. Every solo in glee club. Everything.”

“So... trash?”

“No. I’m going to burn them.”

* * *

 

“Hey, babe, where’re you going?” Blaine called as Kurt stomped through the den with the cardboard box under his arm.

“To start a fire.”

Finn and Blaine exchanged worried looks before bolting from the couch to catch up with Kurt.

“Why are you starting a fire?”

“Will you get some wood from behind the shed, Finn?”

“If you tell me what you’re doing!”

“I’m burning my past,” Kurt replied calmly.

* * *

 

With the fire burning brightly and a nod towards Blaine, Finn retreated to the house, mumbling something about marshmallows. Blaine sat down on the grass next to Kurt.

Kurt opened the first journal and began reading aloud. Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders as he spoke of his tormented past.

He spoke of bullies and unhelpful teachers, slushies and dumpsters, getting pushed into lockers and getting tripped in the hallways.

And then the forced kiss in the locker room. Being so fed up that he couldn’t take it anymore, standing up for himself, finally, and losing his first kiss to a closeted jock. He spoke of the threats to his life if he told anyone. He spoke of living everyday in fear, not having anyone to confide it, and being afraid to look people in the eyes for months afterward.

He read every word in the seven journals in a strong, unwavering voice. He didn’t break down. He didn’t cry. He felt Blaine, real and warm and close. And he felt definite, invincible. He was no longer that scared, lonely little boy.

No more.

He laid each notebook into the orange flames and watched them become nothing more than black ashes against the wood.

And they sat there, until the moon was high in the sky and all that was left of the fire was a glowing pile of ember and ash.

“It’s done.”

“Are you ok?”

Kurt turned to face Blaine, cupping his face with both hands. He nodded slowly. “Kiss me.”

Blaine closed the distance quickly, letting their lips mould together sweetly. Almost immediately, Kurt deepened the kiss, moaning softly into Blaine’s mouth. He pulled back after a few long moments, panting and resting his forehead against Blaine’s.

“Let’s go inside.”

* * *

 

The morning hours of the following day were spent lazily in bed. They held each other close, talking quietly, sharing slow kisses and soft touches.

Sarah forced them out of bed for lunch, and later they found themselves sprawled out on the couch watching football with Finn.

When the late afternoon sun shone through the windows, Kurt extracted himself from Blaine’s arms. “It’s time.”

* * *

 

Kurt and Blaine stood at the entrance to the Lima Memorial Cemetery.

“Do you mind giving me a few minutes alone?”

“Whatever you need, babe,” Blaine whispered, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Kurt walked the familiar path to the small twin stones that marked his parent’s graves.

“Hi, mom. Hi, dad,” he spoke aloud, like he did every time he visited. Back when he still lived at home, he would come here almost every week to talk to his mom. It was a comfort to him, a way to hold on to the memory of her.

After his dad died, however, it was a few months before he was able to visit. It was too painful.

“Life is pretty good right now. I love New York still. Probably even more now.”

Kurt talked about Carole and Finn and Sarah. He talked about the coffee shop and the garage. And he talked about Blaine.

“I met someone. Blaine. He’s wonderful. I met him in the coffee shop, actually. We... we’re in love. And I am finally, incredibly happy.”

Kurt wiped away the tears that ran down his cheeks. “I just wish he could meet you. Both of you. I think you’d really like him, dad. He had a hard time with his parents. He could have used someone like you in his life... He... he’s here now, actually.”

Kurt stood and looked around, spotting Blaine sitting on a bench under a shade tree. Catching Blaine’s eye, he smiled and nodded.

When Blaine reached him, Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine’s waist.

“Blaine, meet Elizabeth and Burt Hummel. Mom, dad, meet my boyfriend.”

Blaine squatted down, running a hand over each stone reverently.

“I love your son,” Blaine said without preamble. “And I’m not going anywhere. I will take care of him and I will treat him right. I promise.”

Blaine stood, reaching to wipe the fresh tears from Kurt’s cheeks. “I love you.”

Kurt covered his face with his hands, letting out a strangled sob.

“Baby?” Blaine asked worriedly. “Kurt, what is it?”

It took a few minutes for Kurt to compose himself enough to speak.

“I... I just... Blaine, you’re wonderful. You’re amazing and you’re perfect and you’re so good to me. And I almost lost you. This fucking idiot almost took you away from me!” Kurt cried anew, shaking, his body wracked with uncontrollable sobs.

“Oh, baby,” Blaine whispered, gathering Kurt into his arms. “I’m still here. I’m here.”

“I know b-but you almost weren’t and I don’t know what I would have done... I still don’t know what I’d do if I had to bury...” Kurt broke off with a hiccup.

“Shhhh, baby, look at me. Hey, look at me. Kurt, you are so strong. You are strong and you are capable and you are so very, very brave. You’ve been through so much and you’re still here.

“You fought and you survived. And God-forbid anything should ever happen to me, you have to promise me you’ll fight again. And you will, you will survive, Kurt.

“Promise me, Kurt Hummel. Promise me you’ll never give up. Promise me!”

Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat. “I-I promise,” he whispered.

* * *

 

“Blaine, do you want to go visit your parents’ graves while we’re here?”

“W-what?” Blaine asked incredulously.

“Well, we're here and I know you haven’t been back since they died. You don’t have to, I was just thinking you might want to.”

“I... I can’t... not yet. Maybe... maybe next year.”

Kurt nodded in understanding.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Blaine.”


	10. Chapter 10

_4 months later_

Blaine recorded a demo. He sang his own songs, played his own instruments, had ultimate say in the final mastered version of each song.

Daniel was turning out to be the best thing that had ever happened to his music career. He was playing regular shows at The Attic and Joe’s, he was amassing a strong following on Youtube, and he was getting recognized for his talent.

And Kurt was thrilled for him. He would advertise for Blaine’s shows in the window of Burt’s, and he wanted to sell the demo CD there once they had copies.

Blaine and Kurt lived like a couple in love, a couple comfortable with each other and with their selves.

They went to the market on Sundays. Blaine cooked dinner every night and they would sit down at their dining room table at 6:30, maybe light a candle, and just enjoy each other’s presence.

Afterwords, Blaine usually had a gig, while Kurt would either curl up on the couch with a book or the TV remote, or go downstairs to Burt’s.

Speaking of Burt’s, the little coffee shop was thriving. Kurt now had seven full time employees working at the shop, five of them were experienced baristas. Kurt also hired Maria and Julia, who took over baking duties in the kitchen.

Maria and Julia were sisters from San Juan. Julia had come in looking for work and Kurt had immediately fallen in love with the young woman. Upon discovering her aptitude for baking and the fact that her sister possessed the same skills, he hired them both and gave them free reign of the kitchen.

Puck was still around, too. He managed building maintenance, from broken ovens and malfunctioning espresso machines to burned out lightbulbs and stuck doors.

Quinn and Kurt alternated opening and closing. And when Kurt wasn’t around, Quinn was in charge.

They had a good system, one that worked for everyone. And the coffee shop benefitted from it. Profit-wise, Kurt was doing well. Really well.

He found his old style again, something he had given up for the coffee shop (and simply because he had no one to dress for). He bought more McQueen and less GAP. And Blaine was floored by the way Kurt looked in the practically-painted-on pants and fitted shirts that hugged his body in sinful ways. Blaine was most definitely not complaining, either.

Cooper came over often, and Kurt enjoyed his company. They had a bond, Kurt and Cooper, one that Blaine didn’t really understand. It was born from their mutual love and care for Blaine and sealed the day Blaine was shot, the day they sat by his bedside, praying to anyone who would listen that he would wake up.

Cooper got a new job teaching English at an inner city public school. He was so happy there, and he really connected with the kids. He started a glee club, bringing in both Blaine and Rachel to perform and motivate the kids.

When Cooper began dating Naomi, the four would eat dinner together every Sunday. Naomi was a freelance photographer, and Kurt absolutely loved her.

And that was their life, surrounded by people that loved them, working at jobs they loved, coming home to the person they loved. It was beautiful.

And then the phone call came.

* * *

 

There was a knock at their door late one evening, and Kurt answered it.

“Hey Coop! To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?”

“I need to talk to you and Blaine,” Cooper said seriously, and Kurt immediately knew something was up.

“Hey, babe,” Kurt called, “leave the dishes and come here.”

A moment later, Blaine appeared in the living room, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Oh, hey Coop.”

“Hey B, why don’t you sit. I’ve got some news.”

“Is everything ok?”

“Well, I got a phone call from our lawyer today. The trial for the man that shot you is scheduled for next month and they need you to testify.”

“Oh.” Blaine’s face fell.

“The evidence is pretty conclusive. They have witnesses and security camera footage, so it should be an easy verdict. But they still need your testimony.”

Blaine sighed heavily. “I was wondering when this day would come.”

“You alright, B?”

Blaine just shrugged.

* * *

 

After Blaine testified, the nightmares returned.

Kurt woke to Blaine’s screams and quickly wrapped his arms around him. But Kurt’s embrace had little effect. Blaine thrashed violently, throwing Kurt off. Blaine opened his eyes with a gasp, terrified and frantically reaching for Kurt.

He took Kurt’s face in his hands, one hand sliding down to rest above his heart to feel it beating. Then he crumpled into Kurt, sobbing.

“It was so real,” he choked out.

“But it wasn’t. It was a dream.”

“Not all of it.”

Kurt had no words, no response that could make Blaine better. So he just pulled Blaine close, as close as he could, and promised to never, ever let go.

It took a couple of months before the nightmares began to subside and Blaine felt like he was returning to normal. His sessions with Dr. Rosado helped immensly. Blaine good breathe again. He could _live_ again.

* * *

 

As he was putting the last plate in the dishwasher, Kurt heard Blaine calling him from the bedroom.

“Yeah, babe?” He walked in to find Blaine struggling with his tie.

“Help?”

Kurt grinned and began the knot. “Where’s the show tonight?”

“Just The Attic. And before you say anything, I’m wearing a tie because I feel like it.”

“I wasn’t gonna.”

“Sure,” Blaine bit out, a look of irritation crossing his face.

“What’s your problem tonight?” Kurt asked, a bit confused about Blaine's behavior. He thought he was feeling better.

“I don’t have one.”

“Mmhmm. You’re glaring at your hair gel. Obviously there’s something wrong. Now, talk.”

“Are you gonna come to my show tonight?”

“Oh. Um... do you want me to come?”

“It would be nice if you did.”

“I...” Kurt scrunched his nose. “I kinda was looking forward to a quiet night in. There’s a Nora Roberts novel calling my name. Maybe another night.”

“You say that every night.”

“Do I?”

Blaine didn’t answer, stalking to the corner to grab his guitar case.

“Blaine-”

“Why don’t you ever come to my shows?” Blaine threw his hands up in exasperation. He was yelling now, but his words were laced with hurt instead of anger. “You say that you support me, but you haven’t seen me perform in months. I just don’t get it.”

Blaine stomped out of the bedroom.

The silence hung heavy around Kurt. Kurt didn’t have a good answer. Hell, he didn’t have any answer. Should he say that he was just used to staying in and being alone in his apartment? Or that he wasn't comfortable in a crowded bar where he didn’t know anybody? That was just... selfish. Fuck.

“Good luck, baby!” he called when he heard the door open. But it slammed without an answer. And he couldn’t stop the guilt that permeated through him.

He flopped onto the couch and picked up his book, but his desire to read was gone. The more he thought about the way Blaine had left, the more he knew exactly what he should do, what he needed to do. It was time.

He would fix this.

He grabbed his keys.

* * *

 

When he made it to The Attic, Blaine’s set had just started, and Kurt made his way backstage, thankful that the staff there knew him.

When the song ended and Blaine began to speak to the audience, Kurt knew it was now or never.

He quickly walked onto the stage, squinting in the bright lights. He was out of his comfort zone, maybe out of his mind. But he reached from the microphone anyway.

“What are you doing?” Blaine hissed, confused and slightly panicked. 

“Sorry for the interruption guys, but I really have to say something. And it can’t wait.”

Blaine looked at Kurt like he had grown another head, but he continued to speak.

“Over a year ago now, I met this guy who completely turned my life upside down - in the best way. And we’ve been through A LOT, but through everything, he never gave up on us. He inspires me. And I am... completely and utterly in love with him. Blaine... this song’s for you.”

And Kurt began to sing, without any music, his voice wavering at first but getting stronger every verse.

> _I’m calling you to say_
> 
> _That I’m gonna be_
> 
> _Anywhere you want_
> 
> _Tonight and forever_

When Kurt began to sing, Blaine was awestruck. He gasped, eyes wide, a hand coming up to cover his open mouth.

Kurt never sang. Blaine had only the faded memory of Kurt singing to him in the hospital, but he had never been sure if that had really happened. He never asked. He heard the voice, though, in his dreams sometimes, a beautiful, angelic melody weaving its way through dream and nightmare.

> _I’m coming home to take_
> 
> _Take us both apart_
> 
> _And put us back like one_
> 
> _And bleed together_

But now, hearing Kurt, he knew. And he swelled with pride for his boyfriend. He knew it had been many, many years since Kurt had performed in public. And he was, in that moment, completely humbled by the man standing in front of him, pouring out his heard in front of a hundred plus people. And if it was even possible, he fell even more in love.

> _I’m calling you to say_
> 
> _That I’m gonna stay_
> 
> _Wrapped ‘round your heart_
> 
> _Through time and weather_

For Kurt, getting on stage, standing in front of Blaine and complete strangers, singing, those were the easy parts.

The hard part, the terrifying part that had his heart beating manically in his chest, was getting down on one knee.

> _I never live_
> 
> _I never die_
> 
> _Without you_


	11. afterword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a story's natural end, like a life well lived

Blaine woke up alone in a bed that wasn’t theirs. His sleep-addled brain was momentarily confused and slightly hung-over.

When his mind caught up with him, though, the breath suddenly left his lungs.

Holy shit.

It was his wedding day.

The door banged open, unwanted light streaming into his eyes.

“Well good morning, little brother. Sleep well?”

Blaine groaned at Cooper’s entirely too loud voice.

“Better get rid of that headache quick! You’re due at the courthouse in one hour,” he handed Blaine a large mug of coffee. “Shower and change. Your suit’s in the bathroom.”

Blaine did as he was told, cursed Cooper for getting him drunk, and, half and hour and three Advil later, they were out the door.

They were the first to arrive and Blaine paced the waiting room like a nervous wreck. Cooper just watched him, laughing. Moments later, the door opened, and Finn poked his head inside, smiling widely.

“We’re all here! Kurt’s fixing his hair in the bathroom.” The door opened wider, revealing Carol, Sarah, Quinn and Rachel, all done up in gorgeous dresses.

Kurt appeared behind them. “Show time.”

* * *

 

“Oh my god. We’re married!” Kurt exclaimed when they climbed into the back of the limo Blaine rented for them.

“Why, yes, Mr. Hummel-Anderson, we are.”

Kurt grinned, sliding across the seat to kiss Blaine deeply. “Hey, husband,” he whispered when he pulled back.

“Hey, husband,” Blaine repeated, his heart swelling so much it actually hurt. But it was a good hurt, a welcome hurt that he never wanted to disappear. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

* * *

 

“DADDY!” A high pitched voice squealed, jarring Blaine from his deep, peaceful slumber.

“Maisie Elizabeth, use your inside voice, please,” Kurt scolded the six-year-old. “Now, let’s go back to the living room and let daddy sleep. He got home really late last night and he’s tired.”

“But Papa!”

“It’s alright, Kurt. I’m awake now,” Blaine yawned, stretching. “Come here baby girl. You, too, Papa.”

Blaine pulled the two loves of his life into the bed with him, snuggling them close under the quilt and vowing never to go on a two-week national tour again.

“I missed you two so much!”

“Missed you, too, daddy!”

“What did you do while I was gone, baby girl?”

“Daddy, I’m not a baby!”

“You’ll always be MY baby. So tell me, what did you do?”

“I hanged out with Uncle Cooper and Aunt Nami a lot.”

“Nay-OH-mi, Mais,” Kurt corrected.

“Naw-mi.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Blaine chuckled.

“Doesn’t matter,” Maisie mimicked with a giggle. “Uncle Coop is my favorite uncle.”

Blaine gasped dramatically, “Don’t tell Uncle Finn or Uncle Puck you said that!”

“I like them, too, silly.”

“Know what baby girl?”

“What daddy?”

“You’re my favorite daughter.”

“Daddy!”

“And your Papa is my favorite husband.”

“You’re silly!” She giggled and launched into a detailed description of everything she had done the past two weeks.

While she chattered away, Blaine leaned behind her to kiss Kurt softly.

“Welcome home,” Kurt whispered.

“Love you,” Blaine kissed him once more before turning back to their daughter.

“...And then, Uncle Cooper took me to the zoo!”

“He did?!”

“And we saw kangaroos!”

“No way!”

“Yes way!”

* * *

 

It had been a long day for Kurt and Blaine. It was close to midnight when they opened the door to their Manhattan penthouse and collapsed on their bed.

“Our daughter just graduated.”

“Our daughter just graduated from Harvard Medical School.”

“Blaine, our daughter is a doctor.”

“Dr. Maisie Hummel-Anderson. She got her brains from you, you know.”

“And her good looks from you.”

“Well, now what do we do?”

“Pay off her student loans?”

“I mean... right now.”

“Celebratory sex?”

“Our daughter just graduated from medical school sex?”

“Don’t use ‘our daughter’ and ‘sex’ in the same sentence.”

“Speaking of, when do you think Liam’s gonna propose?”

Kurt shrugged, “He’d better ask us first.”

“Oh, he will. He’s such a southern gentleman. His accent’s adorable.”

“Are we gonna have sex or talk about Maisie’s boyfriend?”

Blaine shook his head, straddling his husband. “You and your one-track mind.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

* * *

 

Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson enjoyed fifty-five more years together.

They gave their daughter away at her wedding to Liam.

They were incredibly proud of her when she quit her job at the hospital to open the Hummel-Anderson Clinic in Brooklyn.

Blaine got his Grammy. Twice.

They were there when their granddaughter was born, and when their grandson was born three years later.

Kurt worked at Burt’s until he couldn’t anymore, happily handing over the reigns to Liam, who kept it up and running for the rest of his life, eventually passing it on to his daughter. 

Blaine never stopped singing.

Kurt held Blaine close when they buried Cooper.

They bought their grandson a puppy for his tenth birthday, and diamond earrings for their granddaughter when she turned thirteen.

Blaine asked to be buried next to his brother.

And when Kurt said goodbye to Blaine one Tuesday morning, he wasn’t so sad.

“We’ll find each other again,” he said. And when Kurt followed his husband two months later, Maisie smiled.

Papa never could be away from Dad for too long.

> _I never live._
> 
> _I never die._
> 
> _Without you._


	12. postlude: Maisie Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing brought them greater joy than raising their daughter

“Which one is she?”

“Right... there. There. Oh my god.” Blaine pressed his forehead against the glass separating them from their newborn daughter.

“Blaine,” Kurt breathed, taking his husband’s hand and squeezing hard. “She’s beautiful.”

“She’s perfect.”

“She’s ours.”

“She’s  _ours_.”

Blaine cried the first time he held Maisie Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson. And Kurt never forgot that moment. Tears of pure, unadulterated joy and love slipped silently down Blaine’s cheeks. This was the moment he had been waiting for. Since he and Kurt had made the decision to adopt. Since the sad but pretty young woman had chosen them to raise her daughter.

They had both been at Burt’s when the call came in. The baby was coming NOW. The entire ride to the hospital, they had been vibrating with nerves and excitement. Kurt checked his phone every two seconds, hoping they made it before she was born.

They hadn’t, but that was OK. Maisie was too impatient. She was ready to see the world. And Blaine and Kurt were ready to show it to her. They were SO ready.

“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt sniffed, on the verge of tears himself. “Don’t cry on the baby.”

“I can’t help it. She’s... she’s my baby, Kurt.”

“I know,” Kurt choked out, finally letting the overwhelming emotion well up his eyes and heart. “Baby, I know.”

Their first night at home with Maisie was terrifying. They sat up as long as they could, holding each other, eyes and ears trained on the baby monitor, hardly breathing.

Blaine fell asleep first after a few hours. And when he woke with a start to an empty bed, he flew to the nursery.

Kurt was there in the rocking chair, feeding their daughter and singing softly.

“She was hungry.”

“I love you.”

* * *

 

And like all first-time parents, they lived and learned. The need to protect and lead and show and love their daughter came naturally to them. It was like they were always meant to be daddies together, to love and learn and be, together.

For every milestone and every memory, Kurt and Blaine were there.

First steps, first birthday.

First Christmas.

First day of Kindergarten.

First broken bone, a hot pink cast on her tiny arm.

First boyfriend, sleepover, and bike ride.

First cup of coffee. First piano recital.

Kurt wrote them all down in a book and pasted a picture next to each entry.

Maisie found the book many years later, when she was cleaning out her fathers’ house.

The book didn’t end with high school or college or moving out or marriage.

There was a picture of her graduation from medical school. And a picture of her in her white coat on her first day at Mt. Sinai.

There was a picture from the day she opened The Hummel-Anderson Clinic and when she got married.

There was a picture of her and Liam when they moved into their first house together.

There was a picture of Maisie holding her newborn daughter, and one of her newborn son as well.

And the last picture was dated the day before Dad died. It was of Dad and Papa laying side by side on the hospital bed, hands clasped between them. Their smiles were not weary from age or deteriorating health or sadness, but full of love and life and happiness.

And the caption, in Papa’s shaky but still graceful script, read:

_We will always love you baby girl. Love Dad & Papa._


End file.
